Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
