I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
