note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
