the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize