I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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