if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize