We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
