I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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