i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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