Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
