So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
