I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
