I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
