So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize