Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
