she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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