i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
