I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
