sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you had me at cake vodka
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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