who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
