she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
