I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
