he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
