I feel great
I just peed on a car
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
