I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
