it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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