he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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