Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
