Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
