i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
