if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
