you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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