How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Randomize