He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
