ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize