When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
