Having a random hookup so left but love u
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
