Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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