my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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