She announced her abortion via fbk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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