Dual....:-)
if you like me you must not know who I am
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
