KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
