So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No subtext here. People are naked.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Of course I have a pirate flag
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
