O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
