mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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