party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i dont even know how to be here
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Floor bacon is actually really good
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
