sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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