yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
