i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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