just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
