i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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