the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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