we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
