well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
