I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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