I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize