Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you win again, gameday.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
