the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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