Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
