Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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