saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
