Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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