Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
