Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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