If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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