Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
